


Kid and his coffee

by lojo



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bad Flirting, Coffee Shops, Developing Relationship, Humor, Humour, Law is a menace, M/M, think this is bordering on crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25662805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lojo/pseuds/lojo
Summary: Law is a menace and Kid sucks at ordering drinks.
Relationships: Eustass Kid/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Comments: 25
Kudos: 83
Collections: Kid and Law Fics, Set Sail One Piece Mid Year Exchange 2020





	Kid and his coffee

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kyuunspark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyuunspark/gifts).



> Inspired by this text post
> 
> Law in customer service. What could go wrong.

Every day Killer walks in the break room of the auto repairs shop they work at with a sugary monstrosity in hand. An insult to coffee. An affront to god. That alone wouldn’t be so bad but he goes on and on about the barista he’s in love with. It’s enough to make a man sick. 

Kid’s usual go-to is a much more reasonable energy drink from the vending machines in the break room. Somewhere between the sugar and the caffeine and the taurine and whatever else is in those things gets Kid through the day. 

Well.

Today the vending machine is broken. 

Kid is left standing in front of the vending machine with his arms crossed. The light on the machine is off and there’s an unhelpful little sign taped on to the selection keypad saying ‘Out of Order’. He is simply unable to understand. He needs his sugar caffeine fix. Sure, it would be cheaper all around to buy them from a grocery store and bring them from home but the vending machine is colder than the fridge and it tastes better when it’s extra cold. It’s just easier to get them from work. 

It’s never been a problem before now. The vending machine has never failed him, his little system has always worked perfectly. Eustass feels betrayed. Let down. Disappointed. A small headache begins to throb behind his eyes and Kid has been through his caffeine withdrawals before, he knows it will become a splitting headache and he’ll be irritable and will eventually snap at someone. 

In walks Killer, loudly sucking on the straw of his half-finished drink. It’s a sickly pale green colour with candy cane sprinkles, though it’s nowhere near christmas. Kid can smell the peppermint from all the way over here. 

Killer pauses when he sees Kid standing with his arms crossed, and looks to the vending machine, and it takes him all of two seconds to understand Kid’s predicament. 

“You good?” Killer asks. 

“No,” Kid says in a small voice, eyes sliding to the plastic cup in Killer’s hand. 

Kid’s headache is building, and despite himself, that peppermint bullshit Killer has resumed drinking loudly as possible is looking good. 

He caves in and asks for the location of the café he bought it from. Kid has never paid attention to the stores around their work aside from the deli across the road and the burger joint on the corner where he alternates in buying his lunch from. 

The café is on the other side of the block and Kid looks at the time. Ten minutes until his shift starts. Fuck it. He’s going to be late to start work and he doesn’t care because he needs his fucking caffeine fix.

-

Kid doesn’t take in much of the café. As far as he’s concerned if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. The door chimes when he walks in and there is a large glass window showing the busy street outside. There are also chairs, tables, a counter featuring a large pastry section and staff moving around behind the counter. Nothing special. 

The staff uniform is black, and the only thing of note is the café logo on the aprons, it’s a stylised yellow smile inside what looks like a gear, Kid doesn’t think much of it except the sunny smile of the logo is at odds with the resting bitch face the barista sports. Speaking of, the barista has short messy hair, a neatly trimmed goatee and sideburns, with pierced ears, *nice*, and tattoos, *double nice*. Kid’s eyes rove over him appreciatively. He looks kinda mean and he’s totally Kid’s type. 

Kid cracks a grin and then something ticks over in his mind and his mouth goes dry. Is this the barista Killer is in love with? This pulls him up short. Kid doesn’t even feel like a human much less someone capable of flirting so he leaves it. His priorities back in order, he approaches the counter and communicates his needs to the best of his ability. 

“Give me coffee.”

The barista cocks a brow. Law, his name tag reads.

“You’re in the right place but I’ll need you to be more specific.” 

Kid isn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with this.  
“I just want something normal, just a normal coffee. I don’t want no frappa-dappachino or whatever the fuck those things are called.”

The barista’s eyes narrow and he nods slowly, like he’s thinking about what to respond with, then gestures at the board on the wall behind him. 

“Generally people choose an option from the menu and then a cup size. It shows you the steps on the menu right here.”

He points at the sign that indeed shows the steps to ordering a drink. He’s talking to Kid like he’s an idiot and honestly Kid is starting to feel like one.

“I want a...” Kid desperately tries to choose a drink quickly. It’s hard to think on the fly let alone be smart when it’s like his brain is filled with static. It doesn’t help that Law is totally focussed on him. “Large cappuccino.” 

He doesn’t love hot coffees but he won’t order a blended ice thing like Killer has on principle. 

“You sure?”

Kid looks down from the menu board at Law, confused about why he’s being questioned on his choice.  
“Yes?” 

“Alright then.” Law shrugs and punches buttons on the register. “Glad you got there in the end.” 

Law’s got his best customer service smile on and Kid has never seen something so plastic. It’s like it hurts Law to smile. 

Kid pays and tries not to wince at the price. It’s cheaper to get his shitty energy drinks so this better be worth it. 

Kid’s first sign that things wouldn’t go as planned should have been when Law picked up a plastic cup instead of a paper one for hot drinks. 

Law asks for Kid’s name and gives him a funny look when Kid gives it. 

“Kid? Okay.”  
Kid doesn’t have much patience for wisecracks about his name so he’s gratified when Law leaves it.

Law scribbles his name on the cup and swaps places with the other barista so he can make the drink himself. 

The other barista, a tall woman with straight chin length hair looks between Kid and then Law, and smiles at Kid. 

Kid has no idea what she’s smiling about or why but decides it’s not worth contemplating. He shuffles over to the other side of the espresso machine and watches Law do his thing. The knuckle tattoos are kind of badass but they look a little faded, he must have had them for a while. Cool. 

Kid’s next sign that things were going wrong should have been the sound of ice cubes crunching and then a blender going off, but Kid is out of it. He, foolishly, trusts the barista with his drink. Besides, he is way too busy zeroing in on Law’s ass in those skinny jeans when he turns to face the blender on the back counter. 

Law presents the plastic cup with a flourish. It’s a chocolate coffee ice blended drink and Kid realises this is his when he reads his name on the side in Law’s messy scrawl. He can only watch as Law picks up the can of cream next to the espresso machine and with great glee begins dispensing whipped cream on top of the drink. 

What Kid means to say is ‘that’s not what I ordered’. What comes out instead is, “I can’t drink this.” 

Law freezes in the middle of piling on the whipped cream. 

“Are you allergic to anything?” he asks sharply. 

“No?” Kid doesn’t mean to make it sound like he’s unsure but he’s taken aback by the question. By the whole situation, really. 

“Then there’s no problem,” the barista goes right back to being a smug asshole and the cream piles up. 

Kid is still standing there like an idiot, but he doesn’t know what to do. This isn’t the drink he ordered, this isn’t the customer service he expected to receive. It’s too early in the day and he’s lacking caffeine to try to process it all. The other barista is doing her thing with another customer and won’t look at him when Kid helplessly tries to catch her eye and get some help. 

Law decides he’s poured enough fat on top of the drink and aggressively shakes sprinkles all over it. They spill across the counter but that doesn’t seem to matter, and the whole thing is finished off when Law jams a plastic dome lid on it. Cream spills out and he pushes it forward with a grin. 

“Enjoy.”

Kid is hapless. Floundering. He reaches forward and takes it along with the straw proffered. Apparently he takes too long because the barista’s smart ass grin drops.  
“Hurry up, I have other customers you know.” 

Just like that Law ignores him and Kid is sent on his merry way. He is too stunned to really pay attention to the way Law looks at him when he takes a sip, or the way the other barista slides over to Law to say something before finally serving the next customer. 

Kid looks around but there are no other customers in the café except the one talking to the other barista. Is Law *lying* to him? 

The customer service here fucking sucks.

Damn it all. This shit tastes good. 

-

The next day the vending machine is still broken. Kid still didn’t bring a drink from home, and Killer is still insufferable about the barista he’s in love with. He’s frustratingly scant on detail too, Kid only knows the barista is ‘kinda goth’ and has a ‘wicked sense of humour’. It doesn’t bode well for Kid and his new favourite barista. No wait, that makes it sound like Kid likes Law. No, it’s more like Law is the only barista Kid has bothered to recall the name of and he doesn’t buy coffee often enough to have a favourite. Yeah, that sounds better and less like Kid is just like Killer. 

Killer didn’t believe him when he recounted the atrocious encounter he had with the barista the previous day. It didn’t help that the boss chewed him out for being late and Kid couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut so now he’s on the shit list. He arrived extra early so that he’d start on time and as a bonus today he’s feeling a little more human. He’s better equipped to handle whatever Law wants to throw at him. 

Kid tells himself he’s only going back for more to prove to himself that yesterday wasn’t some weird fluke.

Things don’t quite go to plan. The major drawback of being early, it seems, and one that he failed to consider is the café is packed with people looking to get their coffee fix before going to push papers or whatever it is that business office people do during the day. 

Law looks up to greet him with a half-smile when he walks in and Kid realises he’s actually been looking forward to the verbal sparring with the spicy barista. As he takes his place in line he hopes the amount of customers won’t keep Law too busy to pay attention to him. 

Determined not to have a repeat of yesterday’s performance Kid shuffles in the queue until he reaches the front with something of an order already in mind. Law is there working the register again and he looks just as good as yesterday, if a little harried by all the customers. 

Kid waits for the woman in front to get her order before he approaches the counter. If the barista does what he wants then Kid doesn’t see much point in picking something for himself. 

“Just whatever is fine.”

“I’d love to process that order but we don’t have a menu item named ‘whatever.’ Want to try something that’s actually listed?” 

Kid can’t believe it. He wasn’t just imagining things the previous day, Law really is giving him lip even as pressed as he is with all the customers he should be busy serving. No longer confused about being spoken to like this Kid can’t help the smile that takes over his features.  
He plants an elbow on the counter and leans forward as far as he can, crowding the barista’s space.  
“I said I’d have whatever. Why don’t you figure something out.” 

He likes the way Law’s chin juts when he sizes Kid up, a smile stealing over his features. He doesn’t back down from the challenge Kid is presenting.  
“As you wish.”

Law punches some buttons in and again Kid refuses to flinch at the obscene cost. This café charges a premium and Law doesn’t even serve what Kid orders but he sucks it up because if Killer can afford to come here every damn day then so can Kid. Law waves him away from the counter so he can serve the rest of the people in line. 

No time to chat, minimal shit talking. Kid finds himself a little disappointed if he’s being honest.  
Kid denies his pouting but he contents himself with checking his phone for the time, still plenty before his shift starts, and watching the staff at work. Law has his resting bitch face back on and doesn’t seem happy to be working in customer service. How does he even have a job here anyway, isn’t it some sort of requirement for customer service workers to be all bright and happy? People who work in fast food who serve Kid his burgers always strike him as overly cheerful and annoying. At least this guy is honest. 

The same woman as yesterday is at the espresso machine today, and she works fast. Kid thinks. He doesn’t have a lot to compare with but despite the number of people waiting for their orders Kid doesn’t have to wait long to get his mystery order because she’s slinging drinks left and right. Her nametag reads Robin. He didn’t pay attention yesterday but it seems Robin and Law are regular staff here. Damn Killer for never giving more details about the barista he’s into. 

Robin is tall, slim, with a mysterious air about her. She’s wearing a tiny dark purple dress and black stockings under the uniform apron. Kid can’t tell if she counts as goth, and she hasn’t said anything to him so he can’t tell if she has a sense of humour. 

Soon enough the number of customers has thinned and she waves him over to hand him a drink, a hot one today, and he accepts it without fuss. 

Kid can’t work out what her deal is but she apparently doesn’t need to watch what she’s doing because she keeps meeting his eye and Kid doesn’t know what to make of the way Robin looks at him and then says something to Law when she takes the next cup with a name on it. 

Kid takes a cautious sip of the hot drink. It’s sweet, cinnamony, not bad. 

There’s a little smiley face next to the café logo, and Kid can’t tell who wrote on it but his thoughts cut short when he reads the order name. A dirty chai, he discovers from reading the messy scrawl across the cup.

Is this a fucking joke?

He marches up to the counter and raises his voice over the milk frothing in the jug in Robin’s hand.  
“Are you calling me names now?”

“What do you mean?” Robin looks genuinely confused for a moment but when she sees the writing on the cup Kid is pointing at she has to hold back a laugh. 

“Did you write this?” Kid presses. 

“Not me. You’ll need to speak with my coworker.”

The lineup of customers waiting to order has dispersed, giving Law time to butt in while Robin continues making orders. 

“What the fuck is this?” Kid shoots at Law when the other barista wanders over. 

Kid doesn’t like being called dirty, thank you very fucking much. His damn feelings are hurt by someone he’s given money to, this is so messed up. The little smiley face seems mocking now. 

“It’s the name of the drink, idiot.” Law has this insufferably calm look again when he points at the menu board. “That means it’s a chai with coffee in it. I figured that’s what you’d like since you made such a big deal about liking coffee yesterday.”

Kid can’t say he’s been spoken to like this before but he kind of likes it— but, no, he’s still pissed. And embarrassed about misinterpreting the name of the drink. It’s still messed up to call someone dirty. 

Kid grinds his teeth and now he really does feel like an idiot. He takes another sip. It tastes fine, and now Kid is interested in making himself scarce before he embarasses himself further. 

Law looks way too fucking cheerful when he waves Kid goodbye. 

-

It’s been a week and the vending machine is still fucked up. Kid is apparently the only asshole who misses it because their boss doesn’t seem like he’s in a hurry to fix it and the other staff just bring shit from home. Fuck them all. 

Killer meets him in the doorway to the break room and tells him they’re going to the café together. He agrees readily enough, Kid is determined to have Killer see exactly what he has to deal with, but to his surprise and dismay Law is on his best behaviour. To start with, at least.  
“Mr Killer,” he greets, and his smile sharpens when his eyes slide to Kid. “Mr Kid.” 

Neither of them are ready to order yet but Law hasn’t stopped wiping down tables. Apparently he’s content to let the customers wait. Seriously, the customer service sucks.

“Ms Robin isn’t in today,” Law says when he finally returns to the register behind the counter. Kid is sure Law was taking his sweet time on purpose because those tables looked pretty damn clean to start with. 

“Shame,” Killer says. 

Wait, *that’s* the barista Killer is into? 

“Dude, she’s married.” It was hard not to notice the flashy ring on her finger. 

Killer gives him a sharp look. Kid knows him well enough that he can see the expression through the helmet.  
“I know that.” Then Killer’s body language relaxes. “Sometimes it’s fun just to flirt. You should try it.” 

Law cuts in before Kid can respond.  
“You think he knows how?” 

Kid scowls.  
“You always listen in on your customers?” He shoots at Law. 

“I do when they talk right in front of me.” There’s that fucking attitude again. “Can’t help it with a loudmouth like you.” 

Killer’s hand darts to the front of his helmet where his mouth would be to hide a smile at that.  
“I hear you’ve been giving your best service to my friend.” Killer says.  
The mirth in his voice lets Kid know exactly how funny he thinks Law is and Kid can feel himself grinding his teeth. 

Kid doesn’t know if he likes the way Killer and Law are so familiar with each other. He feels something like jealousy that settles over him and flits away just as fast. 

“Yes, I’ve been taking excellent care of him.” Law gives Kid a look and Kid can’t make out. It’s like he’s on display and Law is sizing him up. “Though,” Law’s gaze returns to Killer as he speaks, and he doesn’t have that judging look when he’s talking to Killer as when he’s talking to Kid. “I didn’t realise this was *the* Eustass Kid you’re always talking about.” 

That catches Kid’s attention.  
“Wait, you talk about me?” His best friend and with the barista of all people? Kid didn’t take Killer for the gossiping type. You learn new things every day. 

They’re both unhelpful and give him vague non-answers before Law makes Kid go through the motions of placing an order. He picks up a plastic cup to write the order down. So it’ll be something cold today. 

Kid is interested to learn Killer actually chooses his fucked up drinks when he orders some fairy floss shit and they both stand by the counter and watch as Law makes exactly what Killer asked for. Killer prefers cold drinks because the straws fit through the holes in his helmet, and when Kid thinks about it, he’s never seen Killer drink something hot. 

There is a few minutes of idle chatter where Kid pretends to be paying attention when he’s too busy admiring the tattoos on Law’s arms visible with the short sleeve shirt he’s wearing. 

Law turns to them with the next order with his best shit eating grin. 

“Useless! Order for Useless!” 

Wait.  
“Is this for me?” Kid asks, and Law’s eyes land on him and his grin widens.  
“I called your name didn’t I?” 

Killer doesn’t try hard enough to stifle his laugh and Kid can feel his hackles raise.  
“It’s pronounced Eustass. Got that? *Eustass*.” 

He repeats for emphasis, and Law doesn’t look like he cares at all. The gravity of Kid’s insistence is spoiled when he slurps on his iced chocolate chip bullshit. 

“That’s what I said.” Law is still smiling. He’s taking great pleasure in being an asshole. 

-

Two weeks in and the vending machine is still fucked. Kid has stopped using it as an excuse to visit Law, and he’s started to really look forward to his bullshit conversations with the barista.

Today things go differently to the usual he’s come to expect. There’s Robin and a big guy with short white hair in Law’s place. 

He wears an orange jumpsuit under his uniform apron and it's an unusual outfit for such a warm day. This is as far as Kid’s musings go when he approaches the counter. 

“Sorry for the wait!” is how he greets Kid.

The new guy, Bepo, is wringing his hands like he’s really stressed out about the fraction of a second after Kid walked in before he could be greeted. 

Kid didn’t have to wait for anything, he’s not really sure why the guy is apologising.  
“Don’t worry about it.” Kid looks around at Robin and then where he hopes Law will magically materialise. “Where’s Law?”

“He’s not in today. What would you like to order?”

Well shit. He orders a latte and gets exactly what he asked for, and Kid can’t help but feel disappointed when he walks to work. The barista who served him, Bepo, was literally wringing his hands and fretting. 

-

Law is back in the café the following day with Bepo in place of Robin. Other than the little staff rotation things are back to normal. As normal as it is for the customer to be spoken to the way Law speaks to Kid. 

They go through the usual back and forth, and then when Kid gets his drink he points out Law put way too much syrup on top and now it looks like a mess. 

“I don’t know why you’re complaining. Drink it anyway.” Law tells him like Kid is the one being unreasonable. 

Bepo overhears and sidles up to Law. 

“Law!” The guy seems distressed. “You can’t talk to customers like that!”

“Why not?” Law is unaffected. “It’s just Eustass, who cares.”

“Law,” Bepo whines. 

Kid feels the need to step in. He’s the one being spoken to like crap but he feels bad for Bepo.  
“It’s no problem.” 

“See, he likes it.” 

His brows are furrowed and he looks distressed. Law’s reassurances aren’t helping, and Bepo wrings his hands as he apologises to Kid over and over. It’s really uncomfortable for everyone involved, but it’s worth it eventually because he hands over a card saying Kid is entitled to a free drink of his choice. 

Perfect. 

Kid can’t help but ponder if the card means Law is known for his crappy customer service, or if Kid is special enough to get this super secret free drink voucher? Whatever the case, it’s another excuse to come see Law. 

-

It’s been almost two months since Kid became a regular at the café. The transition from carbonated energy drinks to sugary coffee drinks wasn’t straightforward but he’s glad he did it because the bullshit with Law has become a highlight of his day. 

Kid looks down at today’s drink through the clear plastic lid and snorts.  
“Did you draw a dick on top with syrup?” 

There in chocolate there’s a definite dick shape. Law’s drawn things a few times on the cup or on the drink itself with syrup if he has time but never anything like this. 

“It’s supposed to be a hand with a middle finger up. But sure, if you think it’s phallic, why not.”

The conversation apparently over, Law has taken up a cloth and is wiping up the spilled cream and mess of sprinkles he always produces when he adds too many toppings to Kid’s drink. 

“So,” Kid starts, desperately groping for something clever to say so he won’t look like an idiot just standing there and staring at the busy barista. He takes a sip, it’s great and the sugar coffee mix is like a punch in the mouth. It has the bonus of not hurting his teeth as much as energy drinks do. “What do you do?”

The world stops for a moment in the wake of his stupidity and Kid’s skin prickles with the look Law gives him, arm frozen mid wipe. 

“I work here,” Law says slowly, like he’s dumbstruck by the words that come out of Kid’s mouth. The cloth he was using to wipe the counter down scrunches when he clenches his fist, “That’s all.” His words pick up speed as his mind catches up to what he’s saying and he gets that imperious tone he always has when talking to Kid. He’s begun furiously wiping the counter now. “I only work. When you leave I stop existing. That’s right. All I do is wait right here for people like you to come in and ask why I’m working in a coffee shop when I should be out saving the world or helping people or whatever the fuck it is that people think I should be doing-” 

“I- I meant what do you do outside of work.” Kid cuts off that rant before Law gets really upset. He doesn’t know what he said wrong that fired Law up but he is trying so hard, and dammit! It’s so hard to think when Law is looking at him so intently. “I’m trying to ask what you do for fun.” 

“Oh.” This pulls Law up short and he seems mollified. “Then you should have just said so.”

“I tried.” Kid is being honest here and against his will he makes a confession. “I’m not good at this.” 

Law sighs and cracks a smile at that. He leans against the counter, cloth and mess now forgotten.  
“I can tell.” 

After that little outburst Kid feels entitled to know more details about Law’s life.  
“What’s your deal?”

“You don’t want to hear my sob story.”

Kid shrugs. Takes another sip.  
“I asked.” 

Law seems to contemplate something then sticks his hand out.  
“Give me your cup.” 

Kid pauses for a moment, immensely curious about what Law plans to do with it when he gives it to Law.

Law writes his number on the cup and Kid raises his nonexistent brows.

Law caps the black marker and gives the cup back to Kid.  
“I finish at two.” 

Some new customer inconveniently enters the café and effectively ends their talk and Kid doesn't even care. He feels all kinds of giddy over the number and invitation and- god. He’s going to stop working early and go out with the asshole barista. 

He doesn’t even care about his goofy grin when he leaves to walk back to his work. Killer takes one look at the bounce in his step and the grin on his face and heckles him for details.

**Author's Note:**

> I used to love bullying my customers when I worked in retail lmfao but I was never as bold as Law. 
> 
> There was some backstory for why Law works where he does but I think it works better if it’s open to interpretation.   
> Anyway this tweet perfectly encapsulates their relationship   
>   
> Kid's dialogue inspired by that one boomer tweet but also when I got coffee with my dad earlier this year lmaooo he would not stop talking about how he just wanted a plain normal coffee and got all confused when the lady behind the counter was like sir please just place your order. That's Kid.


End file.
